


i need you

by aestthete



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Confessions, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Slow Burn, Unrequited Love, always wanted to tag it, george haven't seen dreams face here, he thinks so, idk i dont like adding too much tags, kinda akward i guess, maybe it is, maybe not, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:00:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27942665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aestthete/pseuds/aestthete
Summary: "That's simple," he states as a matter of fact, his voice going a bit softer before he adds "I need you, George."And oh, he was not ready for that exactly. He freezes when familiar sensations rush all over him. The same exact feeling — he thought he long buried and got a hold onto — comes back but with double force. This giddy excitement, knots in the stomach, aching heart, sweating hands and loss of breath. All of these and even more.------i'll here something more soon, i swear
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Darryl Noveschosch, Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Karl Jacobs, Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> hello!  
> soo, first of all: i posted it mostly because i need a bit of encouragement to continue writing aand because i wanted to see if someone would even want to read it.  
> also english isn't my 1st language so if i wrote something wrong or made a typo, please let me know :]
> 
> i hope you'l like the chapter, feel free to comment with anything xx

George makes a sound, that specific someone would probably describe as a moan but; it's definitely a groan, big and angry groan.  
  
  
They've lost again. How the hell have they lost that? It was so close to winning this time.  
  
  
They're playing Manhunt again, but this time with few things changed. They’re doing it on stream, a bit more chilled out than usual and Tommy plays with them, so it makes four hunters vs one Dream. And yes, they still did lost it. Clay got to kill the dragon in a surprisingly short amount of time.  
  
  
  
He just stares at the screen for a few seconds too disappointed to even scream properly. He breathes out loudly though and listens to the shouting coming from his earphones. Sapnap is accusing Dream of cheating or some other bullshit, they all know is not true.   
  
  
He glances at the chat and sees supportive comments, which lights his mood up a bit. He's not sad though, it was basically bound to happen, even with advantage they had had. Dream always wins. Well, almost always, but that's not the point now. He is not sad, maybe a little tired, but that's all. He tries to show it by smiling at the camera and thanking a couple of people who sent donations.   
  
  
" Geooorge... you literally could have killed me right then, you know," ahh, yes. George does know that.  
  
  
Dream was at the edge of the land in the End. He could have easily punch him off, and for like, ninety-nine percent, he and the rest of hunters would win, but no, of course he had to fuck it up. He got discarded by Dream's _oh come on Georgiee..._ _you can't do that to me._  
  
  
George kind of feels like a stupid teenager, having his first stupid crush, and exciting over said crush's every stupid word directed at him.  
  
He calls himself a stupid idiot in his (stupid) mind, attempting to come up with an excuse.  
  
  
"Ugh, shut up Dream. My mouse wasn't working properly, that's the only reason why you're not dead," he shoots back, at least he doesn't need to try, to sound annoyed. He is kind of angry now. The problem is, he does not know whether at Dream or himself. Probably both at this point.  
  
  
He is being a very stupid man, and Dream is saying very stupid and unneeded things just to get a reaction out of him. So yeah, both of them deserve to be mad with.   
  
  
"Oh... my keyboard wasn't working!" Dream laughs mockingly, to which George just shakes his head. "I love you, thanks for helping me," man giggles again.  
  
  
"Oh my god. Clay. I was not helping you."he squeaks and feels kind of proud of himself.  
  
  
A couple of months ago and those words would have such a different impact on him. He still remembers things he felt, when Dream said it for the first (hundred) time. But now? Now, fortunately or not, it has been reduced to a joke, playful flirt between two friends or even simple gesture of affection which Dream holds for all of them. It's not like he isn't thankful for it, because god himself only knows, how thankful for the younger man George is, but...   
  
  
Three simple words used to feel like so much more.  
  
  
He almost swallowed his tongue, when he heard it this first time, and in that moment, he didn't even know why he had reacted this way. He didn't want to give it much thought either, so he just ignored it then.  
  
  
Later on it became a thing. Dream would tell him how much he loves him all the goddamn time, off and on the screen.  
  
  
So he adjusted. He carefully picked troubling thoughts up, tossed them all in one place, and locked it. It was easier to deal with it like that. He didn't need to do any thinking or make any important decisions, nothing really changed. It was good. It was simple. It was probably unhealthy too, but what is a little denial in compare to have his heart broken, and dealing with the mess called "sexuality". It was easy so it was good.  
  
  
It was supposed to go away on its own, and at this moment, he really thinks that it did.  
  
  
Letting himself look back for a second, and compare his reactions, he decides everything is going to be fine in the end. Yeah, of course he's still blushing sometimes (his chat screams about it all the time, so it's impossible to forget), maybe he shutters or does a weird expression, but it's still so much better than back then.  
  
  
He has his feelings under control, they're going to vanish at some point, sooner or later.  
  
  
"Do not Clay me here, boy. We've all seen with our very own eyes!" he hears Sapnap and Bad agreeing in the background.  
  
  
"Guys! Do not believe this man. He's tossing false accusations, that's all,"he says loudly, obviously dramatizing it more than needed, and all four of them laugh "I swear it's the last time I'm playing with you. Clay" he does accent the man's name on purpose.  
  
  
"Noo! You can't!"  
  
  
"Oh? And why is that?"  
  
  
"That's simple," he states as a matter of fact, his voice going a bit softer before he adds "I need you, George."  
  
  
And oh, he was not ready for that exactly. He freezes when familiar sensations rush all over him. The same exact feeling — he thought he long buried and got a hold onto — comes back but with double force. This giddy excitement, knots in the stomach, aching heart, sweating hands and loss of breath. All of these and even more.  
  
  
Everything enriched with months of new memories. With so many night calls, those shown on streams and those only for the two of them. With so many new things he learned about Dream. With so many compliments he heard from the blonde. With so many small things they both did for each other, but would never admit it if asked. With so many minutes just spent together... It forms like a big snowball, combing all these emotions into one, and then suddenly - it's hitting him hard.  
  
  
He should laugh it off, he should crack a smile and tell Dream to shut up, he should at least fucking ignore that. But he can't. He can't, because all he feels at the moment is panic and disorientation.  
  
  
A cold blade of fear cuts through his guts, leaving him breathless. He makes last sober decisions, disconnecting from the server, ending stream with hurried 'goodbyes' and leaving phone call. He will worry about it later.  
  
  
He swears loudly tossing his head back and tries to calm down by taking deep breaths.  
  
  
It was supposed to go away on its own. He was supposed to keep his shit together, wait it out or something.  
  
  
He was not supposed to be gay. He was not supposed to fall in love with his best friend goddamned!  
  
  
_No, no, no, no..._ _I can't fall into this rabbit hole again_ , he thinks while desperately running hand through his hair _don't think about it, George_. _You_ _can do it, just like last time_ , well maybe not exactly like last time, because it didn't work out so well, but the tactic can be similar, can't it?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to post again, but schools starts soon and I had a lot to catch up on. Hope you enjoy, I know this chapter might be a bit boring, but it’s just the beginning :)

First minute or so is spent in silence as if they are waiting for something to happen next, but nothing does.

Dream frowns, half worried half disappointed and by the sound of Bad's voice, he's sure that the other man is doing the same, "Hmm... George? Are you here?"

"George-Not-Found is finally accurate," Tommy wheezes at his own joke hard.

"It was so lame, Tommy! What the fuck," says Dream, even though he snorts a bit himself.

"Yeah, I know Big D, dad jokes are your specialty. Sorry for stealing content," reply comes pretty fast, and so the next second Clay starts; "Knock knock."

"Who's there?" Tommy plays along.

"My middle finger, you bitch!" he screams and hears the younger boy making sounds similar to a dying seal, "I do not make dad jokes, unless you're talking from experience, but then it just means FatherInnit is really fucking cool."

"Both of you are extremely" of course Sapnap says it with a mockery clearly visible in his voice, "- funny but... coming back to George. Did he really leave?" he laughs, other boys following him not long after, making so much noise Dream has to take off one side of his earphones.

Clay shifts his attention back to the topic of George, laugh dying slowly.

He tries to join in with his friends or at least listen to their babbling, but he has this nagging thought at the back of his mind.

_Something is wrong._

He looks at the monitor on his right, where the tab with a chat is, scanning messages quickly.

" _wtf happened? did y'all see george's face at the end?_ " he reads, brows knitting some more.

" _yeah, what's that about? he just ended stream_ " says the next comment, " _HE JUST SAID GOODBYE AND LEFT WHAT THE HELL_ ", and the next, " _is he okay????_ ", and the next, " _it was weird af lol", "i'm worried?", "i hope it's just a joke or sth_ " and so on.

By this point worry sits firmly against Clay's chest, making breathing in and out a little harder. Was it his fault? Maybe something serious happened, like in real life? Somebody's death or other bad news? Okay, maybe a death is pretty harsh and too forward, but something had to happen, right? What should he do now?

"Dream if you ditched us too, I swear to g-" starts Nick, but the said man interrupts him abruptly,"I didn't say anything that bad, did I? I mean I was laughing at him, but in normal amount, right? Did I insult him somehow?" he fires questions anxiously.

"Heey, easy there Dream. He's probably joking, you didn't say anything or at least anything out of ordinary," it makes him a little bit calmer, not completely thought. A leg under his table starts bouncing nervously.

"Maybe he was tired, but didn't know how to tell us, so just decided to leave with a bang," Tommy stops for a few second, exhales loudly and adds "chat what the fuck! Stop spamming with 'do a flip'! M'not going to jump into the fucking lava!"

"LANGUAGE!"

"Oh... you should do a flip BBH, no one's going to tell me what to do."

"Hmm... does Tubbo not exist or what?"

"Oh my god! He's not telling me what t-"

Clay spaces out again, voices of his friends becoming a background noise. The whole situation seems weird, something's off about it. Everything was fine - George was fine - until the very end when he just disappeared. Sapnap believes that they didn't say anything particularly bad, but Dream still isn't too sure about it.

He plays the moment once again in his head, analyzing more carefully what did he, and others, say.He's pretty confident it wasn't any of the usual taunting, all of them and basically their whole audience, know it isn't anything beyond jokes. Little mean but still friendly interactions between people who know each inside out, understand their boundaries and limits. Couldn't have been it then.

"Sap are you live?" question flees out of his mouth without a consent. He knows why, for the same reason he feels so unease right now, he doesn't want to acknowledge it quite yet, though.

"Emm, I'm not, why?"

"Could we speak for a minute privately, please?" it's fast answered with a short "Yeah, sure."

"Alright then, I'm going to end the stream now. Thank you guys so much for watching, and of course big thanks to the hunters-"

"You're welcome, but perhaps consider five of us next time."

"It's not my fault you suck, Tommy."

"Wow, now I'm the one offended. Maybe I should leave like George now, would you care this much Dream?"

Clay chooses to ignore the younger boy and continue on, "About that, don't worry chat! I'll check on Gogy in a bit. Thank you once again and I hope you'll still have fun, watching boys when I leave!" he can hear complaining and shouting, as he's clicking the red button to disconnect.

He makes sure, he really did end the stream and takes a few deeper breaths. No matter how much he likes, how much he loves, his job and life in general, it's still stressful sometimes. Nevertheless the time he has been doing this, the thought of being watched and judged by thousands of people, scares him. One of the reasons why he hasn't done face reveal yet. It feels like it might be a bit too transparent and make him feel a bit too vulnerable.

He sees Sapnap joined channel six and quickly does the same.

"Clay, before you even start, you didn't do anything. Okay?"

"Maybe that's not even what I wanted to talk about, huh?"

"I'm not stupid, and I do know you well by now. No point in denying it's about him" there's a short pause, "What's on your mind?"

Clay hesitates.

If he was talking to anyone else, he would have been a little embarrassed and stressed right now. He would have said first thing that comes into his mind, just to take the person off of his back. He knows people usually don't like waiting for answers, especially if the questions they're asking aren't rocket science. He wouldn't hesitate then, but would the words coming from his mouth be true?

Nick isn't anyone else, though. Nick is his best friend of so many years. He really does know Clay by now. He is aware of how quickly older man can get distracted and how sometimes he needs just a bit more time to think thru what he wants to say. Nick has a pretty good idea about the way Clay's brain is functioning, so he patiently waits, leaving his mic unmuted and paying special attention to his breathing. Not too loud, but loud enough for Dream to have something to hold onto and not drift off.

Clay wasn't always so sure of this. Of having such a supportive and considerate friend. It took many many assurances, quiet words of affection and care, spoken mostly in the dark of the night when both of them had to whisper, so Nick's mom didn't yell at him for not being asleep yet. But in the end it worked.

It worked, so now Clay doesn't have to be afraid of taking his time.

He asks himself over and over again what really is on his mind. _Why is he so bothered by the situation?_ It's not the first time George got mad at him, just for fun or not. Hell, he can't be even completely certain that Gorge got mad at him specifically. It could have been anything and anyone.

The thought that has been with him for longer then he'd like to admit now makes it's appearance again.He knows it's somewhere there, on the edge of the conscious and subconscious parts of his brain, he also is, at least technically, aware what it means, yet his mind keeps circling around not being able to catch up to it quite yet.

It really pisses him off. For god's sake, he was going to the therapy with a specific goal; to learn how to deal with situations like that, how to focus on one thing at a time and express himself with words, AND he is an excellent writer with rich vocabulary. Why can't he just put his thoughts in sentences and actually speak?

He makes flustered noise feeling kind of obligated to let Sapnap know he's still thinking, not just sitting there zoomed out.

"It's okay. . .don't rush yourself."

Nick's voice helps, his head stops spinning, "I don't really know why I keep thinking 'bout it or if it makes any sense, but" a couple of deep breaths. Why is it so difficult today? He didn't have any problems with speaking for a looong time, so what is wrong with him today?

"Yes?"

"Oh shit, sorry I started to wonder why I'm struggling this much today."

"George is important to you." Sapnap says like it explains everything, and perhaps he is right, "Will you continue, please?"

"Uh. . . I have no clue how to start but alright. We both. . .we both know how George is with talking about feelings, private stuff and so on, yeah?" his voice shutters at the end of the sentence. Clay knows what he wants to say, what he has been thinking about, but he also knows that if Nick agrees with it, he'll have to change some things and it will hurt. "S-so. . . like-" don't be a pussy Clay, bite the bullet already and have it over with "I flirt with him a lot and you know, it has always been a joke, right?" Sapnap gives a hum of confirmation, "But maybe he's not as comfortable with it as I. . .uh, as we thought-“

"Dream, I don't think s-"

"No, let me finish, please? I really did give it a thought."

"Alright, I'm listening."

"I mean. . .you, you have to agree he usually gets flustered and even defensive sometimes. And yeah, I am aware that this sort of dynamic between us is what audience loves and that things might change, it may be awkward for a bit, b-but what if it really is the case here?"

"Good question, what in your opinion should we or should you do?" he can hear Nick doubting his idea.

"I believe I should try and be at least less uh. . .flirtatious?"

Silence is too loud for Clay's brain. He takes the first thing next to his right hand, which ends up being a pen and he slowly rolls it in his hand. He, of course, understands that Nick is thinking about what he told him, but he's still anxious. Having something to do with his hands helps.

"Um so, I guess. . .I get what are you going on about. Honestly, you can be right, but I'm not sure" he clears his throat, "I'm positive he would have told you, told us, if something like that wasn't okay. Remember that one time I made a joke about his granny?"

Dream goes back in memory. The joke wasn't even that bad. He can't recall it fully but remembers he laughed at it. George, on the other hand, took it rather poorly; he didn't even waste any time, just told them to mute from the streams and yelled at Nick right then.

Sapnap takes lack of the answer as an confirmation, continuing,"He didn't hesitate to tell me what he didn't want me to do, and I think he would do the same now." he stops, wanting the words to sink into Dream's mind."Besides, don't forget he flirts back. Not as often as you, but he definitely does and from my point of view, he enjoys what both of you have, no matter it's joke or real-"

"I don't even know what this conversation is about anymore." He starts irritated, "I did specifically told you not to speak about me and George dating or whatever in real life, didn't I?"

"Fine, never mind, sorry I guess?" Nick's answer isn't angry, but he tries to make it sound like he is the one offended. "But! What I mean is simply; I wouldn't say that George is upset about this one, okay?"

Clay starts clicking the pen in his hand, partly to keep himself focused and partly to let some steam out, but mostly to annoy his friend for touching another sore spot.

“Mayyybe,” word and yawn melting into one. “Do you ever yawn when you’re stressed?”

“Hmm, no?”

“Weird,” he rubs his face and frowns a little, “I should shave.”

“Quarantine beard?” quick _yeah_ answers Sapnap’s question. They fall silent again, not uncomfortable but feeling a bit at the edge. “Soo. . .what you goin’ to do?”

“Probably I’ll call him and try to see what’s that about.”

“I could do that, if you’d like?”

_Would he prefer to have Nick do this instead?_ Easier for sure, but he’d have to live without his answers, and who knows if he’ll ever be brave enough to go back to the topic.

“Okay, I see. Just last one question.” Clay smiles. It’s nice to have someone who reads him so well. “You are going to talk with him ‘bout your idea either way, so why did you feel the need to ask me for some kind of. . .permission?”

“Don’t know,” he does. He was hoping for affirmation and encouragement. He needed to speak with someone about what he is planning on doing. He’s not sure whether he’s as courageous and selfless as it takes to put a stop to some (one of the most enjoyable) part of his relationship with George.

“Uh huh,” Nick understands, he’s sure he does. “Good luck then, no matter what you decide to do. I’m always here for you, remember this Clay.”

It’s not what older man has been counting on hearing, but it will do.

“Thank you, Nick. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

He can hear the notification someone exited channel.

It’s decided then. Now all he has to do is to speak with George.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you saw any mistakes, please let me know :)


End file.
